Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide.
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me, through your tears,
the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of Love.

~ Author Unknown

The book Motherbridge of Love (available on amazon.com) illustrates this poem from a Chinese daughter's perspective.

More observations

Connor and Cameron have such different little personalities that actually play into each other well. Cameron is so demanding but often in a really irresistible fun way. He is the center of attention and very engaging. He always wants to know what's going on and be involved in the activities. My dad was commenting on it tonight predicting he'd do well in sales. I concur.

Connor on the other hand is very easy going socially. He is very content to just be involved and is so sweet to be around. He does have his demanding moments but they are usually not overwhelming.

For example, every morning when I drop them off, this is the typical routine. As soon as I get Cameron out of the car, he becomes clingy which is a totally abnormal behavior for Cam. He is a very extroverted, want-to-be-in-the-middle-of-everything kind of kid, except as this daily morning drama is played out. I hold his hand while we walk up to the school while Connor runs for the door to beat us. When we go inside, Connor very confidently walks towards his class while Cameron becomes even more clingy sometimes wrapping himself around one of my legs or wanting to be carried (which I almost never do). Once we get to class, Connor finds a chair at the table and becomes very interested in eating his breakfast (that I bring for both of them). Cameron becomes more distressed as I try to set up breakfast for them. I give a distracted Connor kisses and a hug goodbye. When I try to do the same for Cameron there is such a production. Cameron asks for "another hug and kiss" sometimes even while I am hugging and kissing him. He just does not want me to go. I go sometimes only after the teacher is involved and holding him. By the time I am to the front of the building, he's fine - eating breakfast being his normal engaging self.

Connor is fairly laid back but definitely sticks up for himself too. Connor still often struggles saying what's on his mind both due to trying to find the right word and stuttering to get it out. However, he is not to be outdone. Cameron is a constant chatterbox and will often speak over Connor as he's struggling to tell me something. So Connor will tell Cameron, "no talk Cameron!" (without stuttering or delay). And while Cameron is very much in the center of everything, Connor is so observant. Connor will point out all kinds of things while we are driving - dump trucks, school buses, daddy's car (Honda Pilots EX trim in any color of his model year, 2005 - not to be confused with any other SUV of similar attribute), uncle Efrain's car (Chevy Avalanche, any color in his model year and trim), police, baloons, etc. Sometimes I think Connor misidentified something because I will not see it but I believe him far more than I trust what I've seen now that this has gone on for months and months. He is looking for these things and I will miss them but then will see them as we are closer to them or when we stop and I have a moment to look around.

Some observations

Connor is so my child. He has the same needs to clean, order and tidy things. Mike often leaves drawers slightly ajar. Of course, I need to shut them. So does Connor. He'll come into the kitchen in the morning after Mike's left for work and go through and shut all the drawers. He also voluntarily empties all the little trashcans in the house into the main one in the kitchen. He does this almost every morning. If I have a can to recycle, he will actually get upset if I put it in the recycle bin myself because he wants to do that. He loves to sweep and pulled out the mop the other morning. The only time I've seen him sit to concentrate for very long is when he's stringing things. Very orderely. I can count on him to put things away in their correct place most of the time. Connor is right-handed.

Cameron is more of a normal child. He enjoys making a mess and isn't really pleased when asked to clean it up but will and knows it is expected of him. He wants to do everything. He can concentrate on a variety of tasks. He loves to be around people, interacting and being the focus especially with people he's comfortable around. He warms quickly to strangers though. He's tried the garbage emptying and recycling routines but didn't find them very entertaining and is more than happy to let Connor have those fun jobs. Cameron is left-handed but still uses his right at times.

Here are some pictures to illustrate their differences. They were given stickers and crayons to decorate the picture.

This picture is Connor's. He put exactly one sticker in the middle of each square, made a few lines of color and was done. Perfection to my orderly boy!

This once is Cameron's. "Let's put on as many stickers as I can and color some too. Okay. Done now!"


My cuties

Yes, they have mohawks. I was feeling funky.

Happy Easter

The kids were so cute for Easter. Here's a video of the Easter egg hunt at Nana & Grandpa Warren's house:



Cameron and Kaylie checking out their loot


Connor impressed with his very full Easter basket


In the afternoon, we did it all over again at Kaylie's Grandma's house:






Happy Easter!